Self love, is the greatest revolution. I was thinking about this as I got my early morning workout in. I took a picture with Declan as he climbed on my back post-workout, and then, took a progress photo.
30 seconds apart. See the difference? It got me to thinking...instead of thinking, I won't share that one, as I don't look my best-- I am sharing it, with a purpose.
It's important to me to know, you can learn to love even the "imperfect" images of yourself. It's still you, and who you are!
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I remember standing in the locker room as a young girl, on a synchronized swim team, comparing my body to others, and hating all that I felt I wasn't.
I remember thinking after my accident when I was 16, my body will NEVER look or be the same. There was days I'd look in the mirror, poke at my scars and deformity and cry.
I remember after I Declan, and gaining 60 lbs, thinking I'll NEVER get my "body back".
I know that I hear things like this often from women I coach.
"If I could only get back to what I was in my 20's!"
"If only I could rid myself of this flat tire I'm carrying around."
"I'd be so thrilled to get back to my pre-baby weight!"
"I'd be so happy if I could ditch all this saggy skin. I hate that none of my clothes fit!"
I remember at different points in my life-- people saying negative things about my body.
The modeling agents I went to when I was 18, telling me I wasn't thin enough and had too many scars.
That boyfriend when i was 19 that called me Mrs. Frankenstein.
The guy at the gym when I was 20 something, saying, well, if you had and ass, you'd be a lot hotter!
The person who said, you have a nice body but, you'd look awesome with bigger boobs!
The man I was in an abusive relationship with years ago--- who told me I wasn't good enough. The world would be better off without me. Who told me EVERYTHING was ALWAYS my fault. The man who made me lose myself entirely, before I realized, I'd allowed it-- and I no longer, wanted to be a victim.
The man I was in an abusive relationship with years ago--- who told me I wasn't good enough. The world would be better off without me. Who told me EVERYTHING was ALWAYS my fault. The man who made me lose myself entirely, before I realized, I'd allowed it-- and I no longer, wanted to be a victim.
The person who asked me when I was 3 months postpartum if I was STILL pregnant.
I remember last year when I was training for a physique compeition a few people saying-- you're too muscular, it looks manly.
The cool part about self love? It has NOTHING to do with anyone else. The hard part about self love? It has everything to do with YOU. It's a messy, beautiful, hard, eye opening, liberating, life long journey.
And when I sit back and thought about it-- the things I said to MYSELF on a daily basis over the years, were much worse than comments like that.
I'd struggled with body image, self loathing, destructive habits, negative self talk, since a VERY young age. I struggled with disordered eating when I was young. I struggled a lot with feeling deformed, broken, scarred, imperfect, after my accident. I compared like it was my job.
I didn't focus on feeling happy, healthy, energetic, whole-- mind, body, spirit.
I can't say exactly when the shift for me started. But I can sum it up to this---
You have to be you, and live in your body, for the REST of your life.
You might as well, do the hard work to learn to love it.
You might as well do the hard work to embrace it, honor it, challenge it, nourish it, speak kindly to it.
We should all learn to LOVE and ROCK what we got.
We should all learn to lift up, encourage, admire, and support other women, instead of using it as comparison.
We should focus more on who we are, what we are capable of, living our best life, loving what we are-- than nit picking all the things we are NOT.
Some days, it still is a challenge-- but everyday, I learn to love myself a little more. I choose habits that self working on my "self love muscle". Eating well, exercise, enough sleep, meditation, personal development, positive affirmations, setting goals, gratitude, setting intentions, surrounding myself with women who are positive, encouraging, supportive, spending time with people I love, going places to expand my life experiences, tackling new challenges, doing things I love and am passionate about, forgiving myself when I feel like I come up short, knowing everyday I am enough...the list goes on! I'd never be able to stay consistent with all those habits if my motivation continued to be self hate.
And I desire to show other women, YOU CAN TOO.
I can sum it up to this----> there truly needs to be a shift from loathing our bodies when they aren’t “perfect”, to loving them no matter what they look like. There needs to be shift from looking outward for approval, and learning to love and embrace who and ALL we are. Otherwise, that loathing will be a source of stress, unhappiness, unhealthy habits and thoughts, that creates an endless cycle of never being "good enough", body hate, shame, self- loathing, dampening our authenticity.
Do you know you're beautiful just as you are?
Do you know your worth isn't determined by a scale or the size of your clothes?
Do you know that your imperfections and flaws and quirks are what makes you uniquely amazing?
Do you know that your beauty and depth and character can't be measured?
Do you know that you can be magnificent and a work in progress at the same time?
Do you know it's ok to make mistakes?
Do you know it's ok to try again tomorrow, and everyday for the rest of your life?
Do you know it's ok to accept compliments and believe them?
Do you know it's ok to raise the bar for yourself-- mentally, emotionally, physically, only in ways you see fit?
Do you know it's ok to release resistance, honor yourself, and let go of people, thoughts and things that no longer serve you?
Do you know when people say hurtful or judgmental things it's more of a reflection of them, than it is of you?
Do you know-- that right now, today, in this moment, you deserve to LOVE yourself? You are imperfectly and therefore, perfectly made. You are enough, just as you are!
“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.” ― Brené Brown
“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.” ― Brené Brown
If you're looking for something to help you in the process-- these are my favorite books:
The Gift of Imperfections- Brene Brown
Rising Strong- Brene Brown
Radical Self Love- Gala Darling
Mastering Your Mean Girl- Melissa Ambrosini
Adventures for the Soul- Shannon Kaiser
