You find your greatest strength, in your moments of darkness...
This is something that has been heavy on my heart for days. I feel compelled to share, because I have found my calling by openly sharing feeling about this crazy journey of life, in hopes that it can touch someone who needs to hear it.
I have been speaking with a few dear friends lately about the struggle of getting through some of life's dark moments. Our moments of weakness. Our moments of self doubt. Our moments that all our flaws, mistakes, short comings, disappointments, poor decisions, procrastination, doubts...come to the fore front and rear their ugly heads.
But, let me tell you. Often, this is a blessing. Life hands us a really dark place or situation, because it is meant to be an awakening, a time to shift, a time to open our eyes to what we need to work on or heal...or is meant to teach us a lesson, if we are open to SEE it. Watching these ugly things arise within yourself, feeling them and acknowledging them is often the stepping stone in starting to heal them. The beginning of learning to love and heal and accept yourself, with no boundaries or unrealistic expectations.
It is often easier to love others unconditionally, or on the flip side...to see others flaws. For example, I love my son unconditionally...when he's grouchy or acting out, I don't see him as less of a person. Or when one of my good friends makes a mistake or a bad decision, I don't automatically think...they have no worth, they are useless. I feel empathy and try to relate.
Why cannot we not have this empathy with ourselves? Simply, it is easier to do than look at yourself, and see your own truths. But, why? What are we missing in trying to focus that energy on something other than ourselves...what are we avoiding?
Why cannot we not have this empathy with ourselves? Simply, it is easier to do than look at yourself, and see your own truths. But, why? What are we missing in trying to focus that energy on something other than ourselves...what are we avoiding?
I am no stranger to dark moments. I am no stranger to self doubt. I am no stranger to moments of weakness. I am NO stranger to feeling like I screwed up BIG time...
Although, living through those dark times and working through them, is what has given me such a deep gratitude for the light, joy and perspective that I have fought to work myself up to.
What I wanted to share was...what I shared with a friend last night...
Have you ever taken a few minutes to look yourself in the mirror when you are in a time of struggle? Or when you are feeling like life is taking you on an endlessly spinning, make you sick to your stomach, can't figure out how to get off ride you don't want to be on? Or when you wake up and feel like you would rather go back to bed than face the day?
And I mean like seriously, stand in front of the mirror, and be open minded with what you see.
And I mean like seriously, stand in front of the mirror, and be open minded with what you see.
I am not talking about standing there to pick about your body, or what you are wearing or if you are having a bad hair day...I mean, really look DEEPLY at yourself.
Look into your own eyes, is there a sadness or a glimmer about them? Is there a smirk of hope on your face, or a downward grimace of mediocrity and uncertainty. Look at the smile and frown lines on your face.
Look deeper.
Ask yourself...Who are you? What do you stand for? What is your vision for your life? What is your purpose? Are you living up to your potential? Are you being honest with yourself about what you need to work on? Are you seeing the good in yourself...or clouded by the past? Are you being proactive about changes you need to make- in any aspect of your life? What are my strengths? What are my weakness?
About a year ago, this is something I did almost everyday. I learned A LOT about myself.
I was not in a good place emotionally, life had put me through the ringer...and then perhaps the garbage disposal...and some of it was MY fault. I stood there, a single mom, no idea where I wanted to go, regaining strength after a world of verbal and emotional abuse that shook me to the core, wanting to be the best woman, mom, friend, coach...that I could be. But how? It seemed impossible.
When I looked in the mirror, I wasn't in love with what I saw (and again I am not talking about physical appearance, although I wasn't satisfied with that then either..). I saw someone with so much potential, so much ability, so much to give to the world, so much love and empathy for others but none for myself, someone with a story to tell, so much more worth than I could grasp...and it made me sad. For a moment, I was afraid...where do I start? It wasn't very long until I realized...
When I looked in the mirror, I wasn't in love with what I saw (and again I am not talking about physical appearance, although I wasn't satisfied with that then either..). I saw someone with so much potential, so much ability, so much to give to the world, so much love and empathy for others but none for myself, someone with a story to tell, so much more worth than I could grasp...and it made me sad. For a moment, I was afraid...where do I start? It wasn't very long until I realized...
I could wish, dream, hope, pray, beg...that I would start to love myself and my life again, find an answer to it all, move through the darkness and into the light...but without action...NOTHING WOULD CHANGE. Without a conscious decision for it to change...you WILL stay STUCK, or spiral further.
It is hard work to face your demons, open your eyes to your flaws and shortcomings, forgive yourself for mistakes, learn from an intense time of struggle, it is hard to be fully present in an area of your life--- when you think or live like this...and it only can change by DOING.
ONE day at a time. One learning experience at a time. One attempt at trying something new. Making peace with one thing at a time. Facing one fear at at time. Replacing one negative thought with a positive one, over and over and OVER again. Doing something good for myself everyday-- whether it was reading a self help book, getting in a workout, eating a good meal, going for a long walk in nature, talking to a friend...
What once seemed impossible, starts to feel possible, and what once seemed out of grasp...starts to become within reach. It does not happen overnight, and we are always faced with new challenges...loving and accepting yourself is an ongoing journey. A beautiful ride, if you choose to allow it to be.
What once seemed impossible, starts to feel possible, and what once seemed out of grasp...starts to become within reach. It does not happen overnight, and we are always faced with new challenges...loving and accepting yourself is an ongoing journey. A beautiful ride, if you choose to allow it to be.
To live to your full potential and TRULY be happy with your life to the core, you have to work through the mess sometimes. Do NOT be afraid of it. Do NOT be afraid to be honest with yourself. Set yourself FREE...There is no peace deeper than the feeling of being content with yourself and journey...ALL of it. The hard work is worth it. And I promise, that LIGHT at the end of the tunnel, feels like the best damn sunshine on your skin you have ever felt. And you will be awakened and present enough to enjoy and bask in it :)
